I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
