i don't like sucking hair
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
