I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
