You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
