I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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