don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
