like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
