Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
