Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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