Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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