Buhtt sex?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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