You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
