I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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