I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
