Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I'm too high and old for this...
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
