? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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