sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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