yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
