I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
