I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
