If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
