great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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