i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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