I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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