we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Randomize
