im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
