Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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