Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
