imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
