what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Ketchup is God's man juice
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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