Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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