and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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