Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
