I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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