hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
