Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
