i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
