I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
