The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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