My room smells like vodka and shame
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
