New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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