Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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