I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
