i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
my being single is dangerous.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
