Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
