My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
