Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
