eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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