its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
