Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
